I can see why most people never experience true love. It is so fucking hard to let go. To truly let go, not just run and detach. It’s hard to be alone. It is hard to depend on God. It is hard to trust myself and the universe. It’s hard to sit here and not call him. I cave all the time. I am so desperate sometimes for that shot of love. Give me more! Like it’s a drug, I am addicted. My heart goes pitter patter. Then it’s just like it used to be. Everything I do is put in a little fucking stupid box! But you USED to hate to do that. Just go to yoga. NO! I DON’T FUCKING WANT TO GO TO YOGA!!! I WANT TO FUCKING GO DANCE AND FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING!
Then I sit back, I take a deep breath. Then another, and another and I put my arms up in the air and open my palms to the sky. I exhale the attachment. I exhale the need for someone else to dictate my happiness. I exhale all the fucking bullshit. I touch my face. I touch the ground. I am alive. I am real. I am ok. I am supported. I am love. I am FUCKING WORTH IT! I am worth it every damn day. I am so fucking willing to be independent.
I am so fucking willing to be independent of people, money, circumstances and fear. I am not fearless yet, but I can feel it coming. I am blessed with this wonderful life and I am willing to live it to the damn fullest.
I want fearless, unconditional, unattached, spontaneous, no rules, no regrets, badass, rockstar love!
I want to fully accept them and they fully accept me. NO BOXES, NO EXPECTATIONS.
Now go be a badass and find that love you deserve, bitches.