It’s about time I come out about what truly happened at the Yoga Hangout and WHY it is closed. I am beyond exhausted feeling small.
I am completely REAL, honest and open about how I feel.
I have been shaken to my core by these beautiful women that were instructors at my studio. Above all else, I have learned what it means to have healthy boundaries.
I absolutely LOVED having an aerial yoga studio. It was my life, the reason I woke up in the morning, my SACRED space to connect with women in our community and from around the world. I hosted goddesses from all walks of life through powerful life transformational breakthroughs in the home I called, The Yoga Hangout SRQ for almost 3 years. If you know my story, I lost half my family in one year during this time. This studio was my home, my family, my everything.
If you’ve ever experienced my work, you know I can rock a circle of women to their deepest truths and bring out a shining fucking light that they may have never felt before. But when it came to creating personal boundaries in my Manager/Instructor relationships, I let the girls take advantage of me. I let them become my friends and they stopped looking at me as an authority figure at work. This costed me the most beautiful creation I had made so far in my life. It costed me the thing that meant the most to me.
I continued to FORGIVE behavior that is unacceptable. I chose to stay small and not put my foot down to completely distasteful behavior from my instructors: anything from quitting 5 minutes before class, to completely bashing me on social media (some of the rumors were just so untrue, it was amusing), to telling the community I am not worthy of being a teacher trainer, to just blatantly not showing up as the manager for a month, to skipping out on $2,300 in training money, to finally the last straw: 2 girls left the door to the spa completely unlocked overnight and had us kicked out with nothing but a 7 day notice.
The beginning of the End started when I hired 7 new girls to train under me to create a full and well-rounded schedule. It was the end of December and we were starting to build a whole new way of doing things. We for the first time, had super affordable monthly memberships, the classes were waitlisted all the time, and the girls were in my 8 week Aerial Yoga Goddess Training, learning SO MUCH on how to really show up authentically in the world. We were vibing high.
Meanwhile, I had brought on some help managing the studio in January. I was working full-time creating and teaching the content of my training to 25 girls from around the world. We had a monthly meeting and one of the girls stepped up and asked if she could come on as the manager for February since I needed more help. To be honest, I was drowning. I was making and selling 20+ hammocks per month (that shit is heavy up and down stairs). I was managing 7 girls, creating hours and hours of content and teaching a FULL SCHEDULE of aerial yoga (at least 8 classes/week). I said sure, please help me manage the girls, do the social media, keep this running smoothly.
The truth: she didn’t show up. Almost all month, I fell behind. I couldn’t keep up with the 15+ calls per day, full classes every morning and night, my personal brand blowing up, literally faster than I could blink an eye. I was completely exhausted by the end of the 8 week training. I decided to take the week off and let the girls take over. After all, I had went over the rules at multiple meetings, they were doing amazing co-teaching my classes, I trusted them. Well, that week turned into a couple weeks, a few weeks, and a month. I would come in here and there, but I finally felt like I could breathe again. I could relax and catch up on myself, sleep and get clear on a healthier schedule, moving forward. That was when I got the call from the landlord that the door was unlocked. I negotiated with her to try and let us stay. But we only had 7 days. I had monthly members, I was responsible for EVERYTHING.
Everyone was upset we were closing. So what I did, the people pleaser that I am, found a new studio. When I decided to re-open out of obligation, it began to feel very heavy. I tried to sell the studio to some of the girls, but when I told them how much time, energy and money goes into having a studio. No one wanted to take full responsibility. Only one of the five girls at that point would invest any money/time into re-opening the studio in a new location. It didn’t take but 2 weeks to get the new lease and I felt like I would puke reading it. It would have been a complete money pit, energy and time drainer to start this up. I had trips booked to multiple countries and studio owners all over the world asking me to come teach. I knew it was time to pursue my personal brand full time. I planned a vacation with all of us, where I spent the $300 we raised in starting the new studio. We went to Orlando for the weekend to mastermind with some of the top online entrepreneurs. Because, after all, that is what my training is actually all about– creating an inspiring online presence. I told them the news that we wouldn’t re-open and I believe something switched there. But no one communicated with me. They just ignored me and started to spread rumors. They shared sacred information about my life and things I had been healing through. The confidential information that was shared in goddess circles by me to help women in the community– thrown back in my face.
As I began to tour the world, I knew I had done the right thing. I felt empowered by my decision. If I couldn’t trust them to lock the door to my baby, my business, my sacred space the first 2 times. How could I trust them to do it in a different location? If they couldn’t show up to be the manager, how could I trust they could show up to teach the classes?
I don’t share any of this information because I am the victim. I have learned so much from this experience. But because, I am tired of living in this small space worrying about what people will think that my business failed. Shit, the truth is that I am fucking tired of worrying about what ANYONE else thinks about me, EVER.
I sit here in Sarasota, going through the contrast, ready to heal the wounds from this experience. I am ready to be in the community again, with the ones who support me. I am ready to trust myself again. I am ready to trust the circle again. I am ready to share these lessons of healthy boundaries, sister love, and most of all self-love. Being able to discern when someone is on the level I desire to co-create in this world. I am no longer spending my precious time and energy teaching others who are not ready to STEP UP. I am no longer being open and vulnerable in a space where people will take advantage of me. And if they do, I will stand up for my truth, respectfully and compassionately. This is NOT RIGHT, yoga teachers, to act like this. This is a disgrace to the spiritual community. I am safe in who I am and what I am writing. I am empowered to write this article. Those who respect me and my decision will stay, all the others can press the un-fucking-friend button!
At the end of the day, I had to listen to all of the hurtful and nasty things they said. I had to talk to the community and I decided to make them look innocent for too long. It was exhausting.
So thank you for the lessons, goddesses. I hope that you find the love and peace that is truly in your hearts towards this situation.